


In Time

by darkangel86



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Extended Scene, Guilt, Hurt Magnus Bane, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post Episode: 2x12
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2018-11-13 13:48:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11186403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkangel86/pseuds/darkangel86
Summary: Magnus was quiet, he was still. It unnerved Alec to his core. Since he’d met the older man, it seemed like Magnus was always talking, always moving in some way. With a smirk or a snap of his fingers, Magnus was always doing something. Seeing him so still, so silent, it broke Alec's heart.





	In Time

**Author's Note:**

> Anyone else not okay after that episode? Show of hands? *raises hand* Yeah, uh, that was tough to watch but props all around to Harry and Alan for pulling it off. Bravo gentlemen. 
> 
> Since we didn't get to see what happened afterwards, I decided to write something myself because somehow I doubt we'll get to see the direct result of what happened to Magnus.

“Magnus please, tell me what to do. How can I help?” Alec asked, desperate to help Magnus in whatever ways he needed.

Magnus was quiet, he was still. It unnerved Alec to his core. Since he’d met the older man, it seemed like Magnus was always talking, always moving in some way. With a smirk or a snap of his fingers, Magnus was always doing something. Seeing him so still, so silent, it broke Alec's heart.

“Magnus…” Alec tried again, this time more quietly than before. Reaching out, he placed his hand on top of Magnus' hand where it lay unmoving in his lap. 

Despite himself, and knowing that Alexander would never intentionally hurt him, Magnus flinched when Alec's hand touched his. 

“I'm sorry, I’m sorry!” Alec said hurriedly as he jerked his hand away.

With a shuddering deep breath, Magnus reached a trembling hand towards Alec, and grasped the younger man’s hand in his own.

“Please,” Magnus spoke, voice barely above a whisper. 

“What do you need, Magnus? Tell me what to do to help you. I, I can leave if you want to be alone or I can stay with you. I promise, it’s just whatever you need.” Alec said adamantly.

Magnus opened his mouth to speak, closing it almost immediately. What did he need? He needed to go back in time and have Alexander believe him. He needed the Clave not to awaken memories he’d long ago locked away. He needed to go back and warn himself against summoning Azazel. He needed sleep, he needed food, he needed quiet and yet, the thought of being alone, of being stuck in a deafening silence made him physically ill. 

“Stay.” Magnus finally said and beside him he felt Alec release a deep shuddering breath.

“I can do that. I can stay.” Alec said, standing as he spoke. “But I'm going to make you some tea first and then, if you’re up for it, I’m going to run you a bath.”

Magnus looked up into Alec's eyes and in them saw nothing but kindness and love and for a moment Magnus could almost pretend that nothing had happened. That the last twenty four hours were nothing more than an insanely bad nightmare. But Magnus knew that while it was indeed a nightmare, it was all too real. He could still feel himself trapped in Valentine's body, his own voice screaming for help, for someone to listen to him, for someone to believe him. In his mind it was his voice, until Valentine opened his mouth and then it wasn’t anymore. It choked him, several times, hearing himself plead for help only to sound like Valentine. 

Magnus closed his eyes, willing the tears away. He would not cry. He would not let this break him. He was stronger than this, even if it felt like the gentlest of winds could shatter him at any given moment.

&&

Leaving Magnus alone, even for the short amount of time it took him to make a cup of tea, was too long for Alec. Grasping the edge of the counter while he waited for the water to boil, Alec felt his control slip. One tear, followed by another, then another and soon Alec was crying. Standing in the middle of Magnus' kitchen, he let himself fall apart. He hadn't been there when Magnus had needed him most. He hadn’t believed him, hadn’t trusted his word, even if it was coming from Valentine's mouth, what he'd said, Alec should have known. The things he said, no one but Magnus could have known them so why hadn't he believed him? Why had Alec turned his back on this man that he loved? How could he do that? His mind raced with so many unanswered questions.

Alec jumped when the kettle whistled suddenly. Pulling himself out of his thoughts, Alec readied the tea and took a deep breath. This wasn’t about him right now. This was about Magnus and Alec had to pull himself together and take care of his lover. He could have his own emotional breakdown later when he was alone back at the Institute.

“Drink this,” Alec said as he handed Magnus the steaming cup of tea, pleased when Magnus accepted it without hesitation. “How does a bath sound? I can run it for you, add those crystals you like so much.”

Magnus nodded as he sipped the tea and Alec instantly turned on his heel, heading for Magnus' bathroom. Inside he turned on the taps, making sure the water was as close to the way Magnus liked it as Alec could get it. He watched for a moment as the steam began to rise off of the hot water, his mind flooded with images of the first time he’s taken a bath with Magnus. He'd been so against the idea at first but of course Magnus had convinced him of the benefits of sharing a bath and Alec could vividly remember admitting he’d been wrong to ever doubt his lover’s word. Magnus had kissed him senseless and Alec had eagerly let him.

Alec added the bath crystals before making his way back to where Magnus sat, empty mug of tea still held tightly in his hands. Carefully, Alec removed the mug from Magnus' grip and sat it aside.

“The waters running, Magnus,” Alec said, waiting and standing back, hoping Magnus would accept his offer. He breathed another sigh of relief when Magnus stood and turned in the direction of his room and adjacent bathroom. 

Stepping inside his room, stopping beside of his bed, Magnus began peeling off his clothes, his hands shaking at the thought of Valentine dressing his body. It took every ounce of restraint in him not to double over and empty the contents of his stomach all over the floor. 

Alec stood nervously inside the bathroom, ready to leave at the first sign of Magnus' discomfort. He'd already done enough damage and Alec would be damned if he caused his lover anymore pain.

Reaching out, Alec offered Magnus a steadying hand as he stepped into the bath, thanking the angels above when the older man took it without hesitation.

“Is there anything else you need? Anything I can get you?” Alec asked once Magnus had settled himself down into the hot bath water.

“Stay.” Magnus said, looking up at Alec with tears in his eyes and Alec broke. Dropping to his knees beside of the tub, Alec dropped his head forward and cried. He clutched at his head as he cried, ashamed of himself for not trusting Magnus, for not believing him, for not being strong enough to hold himself together. Magnus was the one who had just endured torture at the hands of a greater demon, at the hands of Valentine and at the hands of the Clave and yet here he was, crying like it had all happened to him.

“Alexander…” Magnus said softly, reaching a wet hand out and placing it in Alec's hair. “Darling, I’m so sorry.” He said and Alec gasped, his head jerking up in surprise.

“Sorry? For what? Magnus, you did nothing wrong!” Alec exclaimed, his eyes wide behind still falling tears. “You tried to tell us, tried to tell me and I didn’t believe you! Even with everything you said, I still didn’t believe you! How can you, how can you even stand to look at me?” Alec asked with a hiccuping sob.

“My sweet Alexander. Why should you have believed me? I know exactly how unbelievable what I was saying sounded. I can’t blame you for thinking it was just another one of Valentine’s disgusting mind games.” Even as he spoke Magnus continued to ran a hand through Alec's now damp hair.

“It doesn't matter,” Alec said through tightly clenched teeth. “I should have believed you. I love you and I didn’t believe you and I am so sorry, Magnus. I’m so sorry.”

“I know you are, darling. I do not doubt that for one second.” Magnus assured him. “I'm going to be okay, Alexander. I am. Not right now, not tomorrow and perhaps not any time soon but I will be fine. This will not defeat me. I refuse to let it. Right now, can you just sit with me? I don’t want to be alone.”

“Of course. Anything you need.” Alec said, eager to do whatever his lover needed.

“Thank you,” Magnus replied, offering Alec a very tentative smile. “I love you very much, Alexander. Never doubt that.”

With a sharp nod of his head, Alec let himself lean against the bathtub, suddenly exhausted and close to collapsing himself. He sighed, leaning into Magnus' gentle touch as he continued running his hand through Alec's hair.

“I'll make things right, Magnus. I promise you I will.” Alec said with what little strength he had left in him.

“I know you will, darling. I have complete faith in you.” Magnus said quietly, letting them both lapse into silence afterwards. He wasn’t sure how anyone could fix what had happened but Magnus knew if anyone could do it, it was his Alexander. Closing his eyes, Magnus let the sound of Alec's gentle breathing sooth him. He was home, he was safe and he wasn’t aIone. Magnus would be fine. In time.

**Author's Note:**

> Can we have sweet, soft, loving Malec back asap, please???


End file.
